Have Some Guts Read online

for the week.

  Numbers looks around the parking lot.

  SIMON

  (whispering)

  Numbers, there are only two cars in the parking lot and one of them is ours. And payroll at this time of night? This kid is as bad a liar as you are a Catholic. Let's wait outside and follow him.

  Kenny stares at them. Simon nods and walks away with Numbers.

  Kenny sighs.

  CUT TO:

  EXT: SEASIDE SKIPS.

  The goons climb into the Jeep and pull out of the parking lot. They park across the street with their lights off.

  INT: JEEP GRAND CHEROKEE.

  Simon taps his watch.

  SIMON

  It's been thirty fuckin' minutes, Numbers. Let's bust in there and drag him out by his balls. He is obviously waiting it out.

  NUMBERS

  Wait, look!

  Numbers points towards the bar.

  CUT TO:

  EXT: SEASKIDE SKIPS.

  Kenny dashes to his shiny red Chrysler LeBaron from an alley beside the bar. He throws the briefcase in first and then slips inside. He flips on his lights and hauls out of the parking lot.

  CUT TO:

  INT: CHRYSLER LEBARON.

  Kenny drives cautiously through the streets.

  His rearview mirror reflects the image of black Jeep tailing him.

  He calls his best friend CHESTER on his cellular phone. It rings a few times before Chester answers.

  CHESTER

  (V.O)

  Hey man, it's sleep 'o' clock. You had better be inviting me over to meet a hot set of naked twins or volunteering to work for me tomorrow at Seaside Shits.

  KENNY

  Sorry, Chester. It is neither of those. I am in a bind, man. I got this briefcase filled with money or something and… Oh shit, the two guys are following me!

  CHESTER

  Dude, you have been watching too many Steven Seagal movies again. Just do what he would do. Break all their bones and restore the dignity back to the Eskimos.

  KENNY

  What? No, man. I need a real plan here. I am not shitting you!

  CHESTER

  You're serious aren't you? I don't know, man. Give them back their briefcase and go on living your boring life I would presume. Better than pushing up daisies, right?

  The goons continue to pursue Kenny. Kenny speeds up and makes a quick turn into an alley. Kenny plows through trash cans and wood crates. Up ahead, a diesel blocks the exit to the alley.

  KENNY

  Oh shit! Move you big roadblock!

  CHESTER

  WHAT?! KENNY, WHAT'S GOING ON, MAN? COME-

  Kenny drops the phone and grips the steering wheel with both hands. He presses the gas and ducks down. The LeBaron squeezes through the alley and underneath the diesel. The convertible top of the car is torn off with the windshield against the undercarriage of the diesel in a flurry of brilliant sparks, almost as if someone ignited a box of fireworks.

  Kenny jerks the wheel right and the rear of the car skids left to a stop. He pokes his head out and sees his convertible top strewn out underneath the diesel. Some pedestrians stand watching in complete awe. Kenny notices them.

  KENNY

  It's OK folks, it's a convertible.

  He steps on the gas and takes off. Meanwhile, the Jeep comes to a stop in the alley, blocked by the diesel.

  CUT TO:

  INT: JEEP.

  The goons sit mesmerized by what just happened.

  SIMON

  What in holy fuckin' hell just happened? Numbers, did that little shit just drive his car underneath that diesel?

  Numbers nods.

  SIMON

  Goddamnit, now what do we do?

  NUMBERS

  First, you stop cursing the Almighty. Second, we get some coffee and aspirin and find this kid. It won't be hard, this is a small town.

  DISSOLVE TO:

  INT: CADILLAC JACK'S.

  Hank sits wide-eyed staring at Kenny.

  KENNY

  Yeah, it was a crazy night. Greed does something to people. It gives them guts that they never knew they had. And that isn't a good thing. I thought whatever was in that briefcase would change things for me, make me rich or something. I wanted whatever was in that briefcase just as bad as Rosa did, just as bad as my girlfriend did. I mean my ex-girlfriend did. But yeah, I worked at Seaside's for a year after I got back from graduating college in Hawaii. I hope to…

  HANK

  (interrupting)

  So what did you do? Where'd you go? Where's the briefcase?

  Hank turns to a server walking by.

  HANK

  Heya Jennifer, get this guy a soda.

  She nods. Hank turns back to Kenny.

  HANK

  Please continue with your story, Mr. Gee.

  KENNY

  Uh, ok. Well, I went to Kimmy's house. She was a spoiled brat. You know, the daddy's little girl type. I don't know what I really saw in her. She talked me into leaving the briefcase there. She said it would be protected by her dog, Pudding. That dog was about as friendly as a Catholic school teacher with a ruler fetish. But then again, Kimmy wasn't the most inviting person either.

  CUT TO:

  INT: KIMMY'S HOUSE.

  KIMMY is twenty-two years old with shoulder length strawberry blond hair. She looks strong, like someone who exercises a lot.

  She paces the living room talking on her phone.

  Her dog, PUDDING, is a 3-year-old pure bred Doberman and is asleep on the couch. A KNOCK on the door sends Pudding into a barking frenzy.

  Kimmy looks through the peephole.

  INSERT: PEEPHOLE

  Kenny stands with the briefcase in his hand.

  BACK TO SCENE

  KIMMY

  Oh shit, Bobby. I gotta go. He's here now. (pause)Yeah, yeah, I will break it off. I told you I would. (PAUSE) Ok, baby, I will call you later. Kisses!

  Kimmy takes a deep breath and straightens her hair.

  Pudding sits by her side as she opens the door.

  Kenny has soot on his face, broken glass on his shoulder, and a rip in his shirt.

  KENNY

  Hey, honey, sorry to drop by at such an unexpected hour. I got a dilemma.

  Kenny pushes his way in. Pudding growls.

  KIMMY

  Well, come on in. Pudding, you be a sweetie-pie.

  Kenny drops down on the couch and puts the briefcase on the table. Kimmy closes the door and sits across from him. Pudding sits right next to Kenny, staring at him.

  KENNY

  I need to crash here for the night, if you don't mind. I have these two men chasing me and I think that they'll figure out who I am and be waiting for me at my place. They want this briefcase. It has something very valuable and EXPENSIVE in it.

  KIMMY

  I am glad you're here, Ken. We need to talk. Lately, I feel that we have been growing… Something EXPENSIVE? Like diamonds?

  KENNY

  I don't know, I haven't tried opening it. It's locked.

  Kimmy hops up and scurries into her bedroom. Pudding inches closer to Kenny with her hackles up. She doesn't make a sound.

  KENNY

  Fuck, you ARE your owner's dog! Kimmy, where'd you go?

  Kimmy strolls in with an AX. Pudding backs off and lowers her hackles.

  KENNY

  Whoa, what the hell is that? Where'd it come from?

  KIMMY

  It is an ax, Kenny.

  KENNY

  For what? I don't see any trees!

  KIMMY

  Relax. I keep it under my bed. I guess you could say it is my second line of defense. Not that anyone could really get past my Pudding.

  She pats the Doberman on the head.

  KIMMY

  OK, let's crack this nut!

  Kenny jumps up and grabs the briefcase. Pudding steps forward and growls.

  KENNY

  No, we are not opening it. We will just leave it here, and deal with it in th
e morning. OK?

  KIMMY

  Fine, your briefcase.

  CUT TO:

  EXT: MINNIE'S MART.

  Numbers and Simon sit side by side on the curb in front of the convenience store. They sip steaming coffee. Above them, some neon lights GLOW, advertising beer and Lotto.

  SIMON

  The guy's poor balls were as big as your fuckin' head Numbers. Like a couple of ripe melons growing off of his…

  NUMBERS

  That's enough about the guy at the hospital. Call your friend down in the capital who works at the Department of Motor vehicles and have him run the plate. We need to stay ahead of this kid.

  SIMON

  Good call, Numbers. In the meantime, let's drive around and look for that smashed up jalopy of his. It is a wee lil' town so we shouldn't have too many troubles. How's your coffee?

  NUMBERS

  It's steaming hot and about as thick as tar. And I am sure it was delicious when they made it… last week.

  SIMON

  Good, then you won't be sleeping anytime soon. Back to work we go.

  They rise from the curb and begin to climb into the Jeep.

  SIMON

  His balls looked like they were on steroids. All veiny and shiny and…

  Numbers throws Simon a sharp, threatening stare. Simon shuts up.

  CUT TO:

  INT: KIMMY'S HOUSE. NEXT MORNING.

  Kenny wakes up alone on the couch to Pudding viciously growling and snarling at the television.

  INSERT: TELEVISION COMMERCIAL

  A commercial for Penguin's Pizza Party Place.

  BEGIN COMMERCIAL MONTAGE:

  A cartoon character known as PACO THE PENGUIN dances around a table of children eating pizza.

  Paco dances through a video game arcade and throws tokens up in the air.

  Paco plays ski ball.

  Paco is dancing with a bunch of little kids and they